Aside from my writing; I am also an advocate for FromOneTwoAnother.org; a two year tour based on authors, musicians, and artists of all kinds joining together to help fulfill the goals and assist when we can those charities who work towards creating positive changes in the lives of both our less fortunate and the lives and safety of our earth's creatures.
Archive for December, 2010
A Journey Through My Heart, Part II
A Journey Through My Heart – Part II
As few days have passed since I set forth the beginning of my explanation of my journey – much has changed. I have learned much but in a disenheartening way. I thought when I started this jorney it was to help my ancestors who some live in third world country environments. I started to network and even befriended one person who I thought was a special Native American a person I could call a friend for now to eternity. So much has changed.
I have found because I am not a pure blood indian that I am not seen as anything more than a white girl. I write this in tears as my heart is broken. I never thought the Native American’s would think so poorly of someone who didn’t have a choice in the matter when it came to living on the reservation. My help though genuine and true didn’t mean anything – but the more I looked the more I seen many, many organizations and charities doing the same thing – even one I belong to as a member. Some are Native American Run while others are not but because they bring forth things the people of the reservation are so very much in need of they are accepted and respected. Oddly they are as white skinned as me some with real blonde hair not the kind in a box I use.
My grandmother was born in 1899 and she was 1/2 Cherokee – she was a healer in her small mountainous community – many came to her or she went to them in their times of need passing along what her full blood Cherokee mother had taught her. She was a good woman and no one cared up in the Alleghany mountains if you were white or Indian what counted was that you were a good person – a good neighbor; besides most knew many of them were mixed either with Cherokee or Shawnee. I even have part of my great grandmother’s family in a picture in OKlahoma – this was so odd to see during this time in history until I put two and two together and found they had been led on the Trail of Tears.
I do not know where to go from here with my journey and this saddens my heart deeply because I know the traditions I was brought up knowing – I know who I am but my grandmother’s sister house burned down with the family bible and so it is our history was lost – the true history – not what the census members were told – “black” or they hid the children who were more darker than the others. This was a common practice in the mountains.
Self Published vs. The Big Dawgs…
Self Published vs. The Big Dawgs…
I started my career self publishing two poetry books under the pen name Rainey Moon – it was all good back then because poetry is not a big seller anyway so for the rash of shit I heard for it I didn’t care because that’s how I am. I don’t much take kindly to those who judge a person for their choices in life.
The All-Soul’s Faire and Crows on the Cross were with a small house publisher that inevitably fell to the usual end when the economy of the book market changed, so that left me back to a self-published author because I chose to keep my books alive. The All-Soul’s Faire has been and continues to sell well almost 5 years later – Crows never got the attention it needed due to some health/personal issues I was fighting – most of the tour was canceled but it’s all in the way this world turns. I don’t fret much over whose imprint is on my book it just makes me happy that my writing is out there and folks buy it because they like it.
Do I expect to get famous? – no – and honestly I don’t know if I care to. I’ve seen too many authors who started the same way I did – get picked up by a publisher some small house – some moving on up and very few of them keep their down to earth – natural selves in the changing of the winds. I don’t want to change who I am – I don’t want to be a pompous ass or my ego becoming bigger than the books I write as some do. I don’t want to be that bitch that whines when things don’t’ go my way. In truth I’m real – hard core real and plan to stay that way no matter where my journey takes me in life.
Half Trash Beautiful
Half Trash Beautiful
I‘m not white trash beautiful
But I ain’t who you think I am
I ain’t full blood Indian
But I am pure of heart
All I have is my hands
To hold out to you
Accept me for who I am
Half trash beautiful
That’s who I am
On the papers
but in my heart
I’m faithful to you
Through and through
I’m not white trash beautiful
But I won’t walk away from you
I ain’t full blooded Indian
But I’m coming home to you
I could of walked the other side
But I didn’t leave you
Accept me as I am
Half trash beautiful
That’s who I am to you
But in my heart
I’m coming home to you
I’m not half trash beautiful
I’m not white trash beautiful
I’m just me – part this part that
But I’ve never walked out on you
No I never walked out on you
All I have is my hands
To hold out to you
Accept me for what I can give
Half trash beautiful
But in my heart
I’m faithful to you
I’m coming -
I’m coming -
I’m coming -
home to you -
home to you -
home to you -
Half trash beautiful
Coming home to you.
(c) by Kristy Tallman – All Rights Reserved 2010
2011-2012 Charity Tour
The Native American Rights Fund
The British Fantasy Society
