It feels good to breathe….

once upon a time
when i knew who i was
i would go through my days
writing things
that for the most part
only i understood -
now i write seldomly
but when i do
it means something
is more amiss than fit -

stalked by voices
of times gone by
i hear new meaning to the words -
an understanding i’m not liking -
a person who isn’t as clear
in the light of day
as they are
from the darkness of night.

i should be lonesome
without a partner in my life
but instead
i am happy for once;
it feels so good
to feel that freedom
i’ve searched for all my life -
the freedom to be myself
without the need
of someone there
to comfort my gray skies

it was a long journey,
it took me most of my life
to get here -
my dreams are coming true
on so many levels
but they do so on my own accord -
no one can take away
the truths of my work -
not yet done here
but still it’s all the same
but different in so many ways

one wonders if this
is an okay feeling to have -
they question your reality
of how you see things
that belong to you
in a conquering way
that took so long to get here -
here to this place of love
for ones self and ones own being -
i breathe in a breath
of strange air

i’m in love with love,
peace and happiness for all -
i’m in love with myself
because if i can’t love me
who could ever love me
the way i want to be
loved and love back -
this is a trek through
the soul’s depths
of what it is instinctively
taught across the years

being alone
isn’t a death sentence -
its time given to learn
to love who you are -
a time given to you by a higher power
to show you who you can be
if you follow your heart of dreams -
dance on waters
that never cease to recede
to and from
the ebb and flow of life

once upon a time
i feared being alone -
i feared not having someone
to hold me close
now i hold myself in tears knowing
I finally made peace
with an age old demon
who chased me through hell -
now i stand free in a field of dreams
mine for the taking
if i reach down
inside my self and take it.

i’m in love with love,
peace and happiness for all -
i’m in love with me -
the me I’ve grown into
over the rapids of a river
out of control
now eased into an easy to and fro
over the currents of life
where only you can go alone -
it’s not as bad as it seems;

it’s sometimes lonesome
but in truth that was the flower
you picked
from the field of dreams that day -
you let it go
looking for another flower -
he loves me – he loves me not -
its not of importance
because i love me
not egotistically
but spiritually
and damn it feels good
so good to breathe.

©Kristy Tallman – Feb 6, 2011 All Rights Reserved