I’ve decided after much contemplation and many scares of reading things online about this disease as well as other autoimmune disease that I would start a journal of sorts that is based solely on my journey with Lupus being a part of my life.

In my posts I will be happy to leave them open for comment but do ask that you register with the blog to post because otherwise most of it gets thrown into spam and frankly I don’t have time to discern a porn site dropping links on my page or real posts which they do a very good job at trying to emulate.

I just found out I have Lupus and in finding out the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders rather immediately because for the first time in my life my disease had a name and it could be the beginning of a new life for me. Most would believe someone giving you diagnosis would horrify you or make you feel very scared – relief doesn’t seem to be the word most would pick as coming to mind first. Keep in mind though that I’ve lived with pain in my joints since I was 14 years old and told it was growing pains to arthritis. I had a heart attack that could of been prevented maybe at the ripe old age of 36 most likely induced by Lupus I now find out and in 2008 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which I never believed to be an appropriate diagnosis because though I fit much of the ailments involved with this disease so does everyone else and their brother….but too I had blood work that proved to the contrary their nonsense.

I was the good patient for quite sometime – taking the drugs they doled out to me by the handfuls until they finally put me on percocets and I maxed those out on a 3 year addiction and no longer did they work for the flare ups – they were just a monster who lived inside me feeding on the pills like one eats to survive. Now; currently I’m on oxycontin and percocets for break through pain – an addiction I soon hope to rid myself of but it’s no easy road ahead on this one.

The thing about Lupus from my understanding so far and you’ll learn just as I do through experiencing it with me as this journey of sorts begins just now for me; but the one thing I have learned thus far is that we get the disease under control then we work toward a med that will keep it under control or possibly put it in remission. Mind you I don’t mind you posting comments on my posts regarding this topic but keep in mind I won’t allow any negativity within the confines of this blog – negativity breeds like wildflowers for Lupus or anyone with an auto-immune disease while staying positive and creating positivity in your life breeds like water dousing out a fire for Lupus. Lupus doesn’t like you to feel positive and stay that way because if you allow this it kind of shuts down its momentum, so please keep this in mind when you post on here if you chose to.

You may not agree totally with the things I discuss or the things I tell you my doctor has told me but I believe wholeheartedly in this doctor because she was the first of so many who took the extra effort and went the extra mile to find the truth she was my fourth RA/Lupus/Autoimmune Specialist I had seen maybe even the fifth or sixth – I truly have lost count in this moment as I write this because for years I have been seeking answers. You also may not agree on some of my theories in regards to Fibromyalgia and the mad craze there seems to be of doctors passing around this disease almost at the rate of an epidemic but all in all – I welcome you to share your thoughts – your experiences and even just to drop in and read from the perspective of another person’s journey.

Just always – always know this is a place where I will come to purge my feelings – my thoughts – my real life pain and even the days I feel good. I will also be brutal at times because of a bitterness I carry toward doctors who just don’t care enough to ensure the health of their patients. I don’t consider this negativity – what I consider negativity is someone stating that for instance a very poor outlook toward their future or even mine. For an example don’t feel I’m doomed – I don’t and neither are you if you have this disease – many people live with it every day for years and years and years and it’s all about how you look upon it that really and truly becomes the life you choose to have with Lupus. I choose a positive outlook with a great deal of hope and hope that maybe if you’re reading this along with me I can be a positive light in your life through my sharing and my own positivity.